Day 1

My period started today! (It takes so little to entertain me these days)I start the BCP's on Monday. So 10 to 14 days of those & then I start stims.

I'm in such a funny place right now. I'm excited to finally start this cycle but I'm also terrified of another failure or miscarriage. My husband completely understands this which totally freaks me out. It freaks me out because he is starting to get infertile brain. This is a brain function that is usually acquired by women. It's the worry about everything that could happen & knowing there is nothing we can do to the change the outcome.

My 1 & only wish is and has always been to have my own real live baby in my arms. I hope this cycle brings me my wish.