My Story Part 3

A year later we were ready to get our asses kicked again so we went back for more! My drug of choice this time was Repronex. And as always 2 weeks later...negative. And now we had a new problem. My e2 failed to rise to correlate with my follicles..fun huh? When I triggered I had 8 mature follicles by ultrasound but my e2 was 228. My doctor had been talking of doing a rescue IVF because I had more follicles than they would allow for IUI, but when he saw the e2 he was no longer worried. The chance of me having more than mature egg in there was slim to none.
The next month they put me on an IVF protocol & at the last minute I chickened out and they converted to an IUI. 2 weeks later I knew this was different. I was supposed to test on a Wednesday (the day after my period was due) but I didn't want to go to work upset if the news was bad. I waited until Saturday...and it was positive. I was in shock. I had waited so long & I just couldn't believe it! I peed on 20 something sticks before my first ultrasound. At 10 weeks I had my 1st ob appointment...I scored another ultrasound, which as we all know it's like winning the infertile lottery, I saw the most beautiful sight I had ever seen. My baby kicking & waving his arms & the sound of the most beautiful heartbeat I had ever heard. At my next appointment 4 weeks later the doctor was going to try the doppler & after 5 minutes she said they're so hard to find at this age...let's do an ultrasound. Thirty minutes later I would have given anything for someone to kill me. I was 14 weeks and my baby had died at 11 weeks, I didn't know. I had been talking to a corpse for 3 fucking weeks! I believe this is the point where I proceeded to have multiple nervous breakdowns. I had to take a 3 month leave of absence from work..I was in therapy & on prescription drugs. I thought that going through infertility was painful....I had no fucking idea what pain was until I went through this.